“Come. You Have A Home With Us!” Said the 7 Dwarfs.
The all too familiar scene! Poor little Snow White lost in a concrete jungle. Haters want your heart served on a silver plate. Debts men have sent the huntsman to collect at all costs. The word is out on the streets you’re a wanted woman but not by men. You feel sad and alone but don’t be in despair. Find the seven dwarfs and they’ll help keep you happy, busy ,entertained and on ice. Until prince charming melts you with a kiss. Here are 10 fabulous reasons Why Some Of Your Best Friends Should Be Men.
#1 Meet Grumpy! We all have a Grumpy in our lives. When it’s hot it’s too hot. When it’s cold it’s too darn cold. When the real estate market was booming houses were too expansive. Now its crashed he’s going to wait for it to keep crashing before he can commit. Whether it’s Bush or Obama in office the government sucks. No matter how hard you try to make him smile he’d rather peer at you suspiciously for being too nice and keep frowning. Don’t hate on Grumpy he is always there for a great pity party. Grumpy always has your sobbing knife stabbed back. Appreciate him as a good friend and an example of everything you don’t want in a man. His advise can be biting but always honest. Seriously this pessimistic nay sayer is a girls secret best friend.
#2 Meet Dopey! Every girl needs Dopey in her life. He is usually a surfer dude type who doesn’t take life too seriously. He’d rather hit the surf than hit on you. He is never short of 420 if you need it. He thinks all dudes are cool so that will keep your perceptive balanced and your personality cool and dope. Dopey might seem mellow but you will need more than a set of D cups to hang out with him. He will playfully point out things about yourself you could work on. Take notes. Resist the urge to make him your rebound guy and you’ll have a friend for life.
#3 Meet Happy! Happy is ironically very annoying. He is that guy friend who never seems to have bad day. It’s all about good energy and positive thinking. After the decade you’ve had you could certainly use some cheering up. He will never loan you any cash and if he reluctantly does you’ll never hear the end of it even after you pay him back. He will send you daily postings of your dream job and connect you to good people. No matter how mopey you are he will always make you laugh. Happy is a decent, hardworking guy but just not your type. He sticks around half hoping things will someday turn romantic. He asked you out once and you turned him down and it didn’t even phase him. If he asks you out again…tell him no with a smile. Remind him to have a positive attitude towards it. To even have a one night stand with Happy would ruin your friendship. Trust me he is a much better friend than a boyfriend.
#4 Meet Sneezy! Sneezy is loud and uncouth and you wish you’d run into that girl who stole your ex hanging out with him. Sneezy can be ultra feminine or gay and that’s what makes him one of the most coveted guy friends of the seven. He understands how you feel, he will spend the day shopping and even though he is more bitchy than you…who cares! Sneezy at best will help you with your hair, make-up and styling. Don’t worry if he dates hotter guys than you…just focus on healing your broken heart and learning to be sassy. A friendship with Sneezy will make you outspoken and confident.
#5 Meet Sleepy! He is not your trendiest buddy but so what. He never reads the paper or watches telly. His days seem to involve work and sleep only. All his spare time is spent with you. Sleepy is an accomplished homebody who will teach you to love been at home. He will teach you to cook and get you candles and bubble bath and insist you take hour long soaks. Sleepy doesn’t care what you look like dressed up he is more likely to admire an old pair of sweats. Just don’t spend time with him at his place alone. Better to call him he is always home and pleased to listen to you vent for hours giving great advise.
#6 Meet Doc! You admire what he does for work.He always gives you invaluable advise. His life is on the straight and narrow and it just reminds you that when you decide to focus all will be well. Doc overall thinks of himself as better than anyone else in your life don’t correct him. He is a better problem solver when he has no competition. Of course you’d never date some-one so self involved but as a friend that’s great! He is so into himself you never have to worry about him been into you. He loves to listen to the sound of his own voice so ask pointed questions then let him do all the talking. To prevent him from liking you remind him of all your faults and watch his perfectionist self retreat. Doc will be able to come up with a comprehensive game plan for your life for the next 5 years. If you take his advise you’ll be better off in the future.
#7 Meet Bashful! Bashful teaches you to like dudes again. He is super sweet and so gorgeous but usually taken. He’d never cheat on his girl and that just makes him hotter. He likes you as a person and is genuinely concerned about your affairs. He is not a gossip so you can trust him with all your dirty laundry. He lives vicariously through you so don’t spare him the details of your messy love life. He can think like a bad boy and has no qualms decoding the bro code for you. He reminds you of all that can be tender, kind and endearing about a man. Bashful is an accessory friend who looks good at any events you need a hot date. Your friends will all think you are insane not to date him but you know better. Be very good to him, this guy is priceless.
#8 Meet The Huntsman! The odds are slim but if you can convince the huntsman that you are a good person he will work for you not against you. Confront him head on. If it’s money owed be honest and make a realistic proposal for repayment. Do not avoid him because he is trained to hunt you down. If you go to him and are accessible he will seize to harass you and become a worthy ally. Put his knowledge to use because it’s his business to resolve the situation. Between all your great guy friends and the huntsman…you haven’t even had time to wonder about Charmings approximate time of arrival.
#9 Meet The Evil Witch! Any girls trying to come into your life after the fact with a bright red apple of friendship should be avoided at all costs. Where were they when you really needed them? No thanks. It is more constructive for you to do something sweet for the seven. Imagine where you would be without them.
#10 Meet Prince Charming! Well of course there is a happy ending! Snow White upon meeting the seven dwarfs and eluding the huntsman lives out her wonderful life for many a seasons in the city of angels. Snow is busy, productive and very content. It goes without saying that she catches the eye of a handsome prince. Of course the prince must earn the approval of all of the seven dwarfs because after all only they truly have Snows best interest at heart. With a single kiss Snow melts. She rides off into the rest of her life but she never forgets the seven dwarfs nor deletes their numbers from her phone book.
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