“Thou Shalt Not Covet Thou Girlfriends Hot Boyfriend!” She warned
At her coming out Summer lurks demurely. Wrapped up in lots of natural sunshine is the option of an array of intoxicating scents from perfumeries both organic and in glass casing. As yet untouched her beauty is unparalleled. However concealed at her core is something far more unsavory in nature. In purple vanity cha cha’s in. Gluttony in pink with the foxtrot. Avarice does the mambo in a champagne colored gown. In blue Sloth does the slow waltz in. Envy in green is a quickstep. Red for Wrath with the big swing and the rumba is for lust with a crimson blush. Enjoy what promises to be stunning weather but beware of Summers 7 Most Deadly Sins!
#1. Thou Shalt Not Honor Vanity. Yes you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Yes your nose job is smashing. Yes your boobs are the picture perfect size. Yes you are darn near the whole package. Yes! Yes! Yes! Botox check! Hair extensions check! False eyelashes check! Now please put the mirror down we all get it! This summer you are the “it” girl! Don’t let it all go to your head! Vanity is a deadly sin!
2. Thou Shalt Not Give Into Gluttony. Your sexy self can’t even keep up with all the dinner invitations this summer! The highest bidder on the dating site that allows men to bid for dates has offered you an obscene amount of money and still you said no! You can afford to play hard to get. You are the hottest commodity this season! Last summer you had that wretched ex boyfriend. This summer you are single when it suits you but otherwise comfortably matched up with several handsome suitors. Eat. Eat. Eat. That’s all you do. On your own, with your girls and on your string of assorted dates. Pace yourself sweetie you are crossing the line from bubble booty to fat ass! You will publically pay for this deadly sin when it’s time to squeeze all that extra meat into a tiny sexy bathing suit!
#3. Thou Shalt Not Covet Your Best Friends Prada! Girl you are on a recession budget forget that B! and her “please notice me!” designer tots! You’d do so much better to find your way back to college to complete that course. When you get that degree you’ll be able to buy any over priced designer that takes your fancy without doing a song & a dance for some dude! Leave that all to your ex buddy Little Miss Slutty Muppet! Roll the clock forward a few years and you will be surprised to find that the path to independence you were forced onto was a blessing in disguise! She is still ass kissing, laugh longest, you who laughs last.
#4. Thou Shalt Not Be A Sloth! Sloth has an innate grace, slow dreamy waltzing its way into your life. Don’t be fooled by the play at romance, this is another of the 7 deadly sins. You keep thinking of all these great things to do but when it comes down to it you’d rather stay in and smoke a joint. Shame on you! Get your lazy booty up from the couch! Reruns of the real housewives will still be playing tomorrow night. Hit the gym! Hit the club! Hit speed dial for a booty call but do not hit the sack early again tonight. Summer will be over soon and so will your “hey!” days. So make hay whilst the sun still shines! Thou shall not be a useless sloth!
#5. Thou Shalt Not Envy other chicks! So you wish you had Rebbecca lips, Amanda forhead, Linda jawline, Emma ass, Katy eyes, Fiona breasts, Chia figure and…! Seriously?! If you could have it your way and “paste and copy!” stolen body parts you’d be a walking “piece of work!” Oh, wait a minute! Your plastic surgeon has let you have it your way! You are a now a walking show piece of the best plastic work that money can buy! No comments! Nothing of the real you is left! It is all erased without a trace. Sad. You had a unique look. But you were positively green with envy and so you altered everything! Now you have the generic alien looking face. So green with envy! So much so that you stole that green dress off the wicked deadly sin herself. Shameless!
#6. Thou Shalt Not Indulge In Wrath. Let it go mamma! It’s a brand new summer! Yes he did you dirty! Yes she could have showed you more loyalty! (That’s what you get for giving an back alley cat “little sister” advise! She was supposed to go get her own man not steal yours!) Of course what went down was wickedly wrong! For sure it’s human to be hurt! So what?! No-one cares! Get over yourself! Remember last summer? She called to tell you that your man had asked her out and you lost it! Saw red! Flipped out! Went nuts! 666 was printed on your forehead! The mark of the beast has just started to fade girl so cool down! You do not want to be “the crazy bitch!” again this summer. So you were irate too bad it takes forever to live down an insane episode! It’s impossible to untangle the truth from a web of deceit. Now you know! Lesson learnt! No drama ramma for mamma this summer! Thou shall not Indulge in Wrath!
#7. Thou Shalt Not Lust After Your Best Friends Man!“You fly as hell swagga right, brown skin poppin’ You know just how to talk to me , know just how I like it, You turnin me on,” Hold your horny horses lil mamma! Your girl is still sitting right there next to you and you are already making googoo eyes at her man. Wow! Granted, he just dropped 10k crisp on the coffee table for you to see and that’s just some loose change on his part. No couth just plain old buyer and seller in action. Nothing like the forbidden fruit to whet the appetite! Remember no summer is an endless summer and what goes around comes around. Add your debt to karma and you’ll be in a world of hurt for more than a jiffy. But hey, I’m talking to myself! Even I can’t talk you out of that fine hunk of meat! Thou shall indeed lust after your best friends man this summer! You know the drill succumb to one sin and you might as well break all 7 of the deadly sins! So pour yourself a glass of bubbly and enjoy the debauchery of going down the whole list! See you in hell! xo
“Je t’aime!” She Declared Earnestly.
Speaking several languages is remarkably useful. The ability to communicate allows us to create an affinity with others who share our reality. Unlike most languages which take years to learn and even more years to be fluent in there is one which you can learn in 10 easy steps that will change your life. You will suddenly be able to go anywhere in the world and expand your horizons. You will able to relate to people who already speak it or teach your lover over breakfast. You will finally be able to successfully negotiate the biggest deal of your life. The matter of your heart. In 10 easy steps learn to fluently speak the language of love.
#1 Sorry. Is probably the most important word you will need to know in a relationship. Know when it is prudent to apologize. Such a small simple word can change the dynamics of a negative situation and dissolve it into nothing. Sorry is a healing word that when said sincerely can displace anger, resentment and hurt. Sorry should be used as often as is applicable without hesitation. Sorry has the power to hold two people together for a lifetime.
#2 Thank-you. Is another simple word to learn. To express appreciation to the person you are with is the most wonderful gift you can give. Thank-you is a multiplying word. It has the ability to bring more acts of kindness and generosity into your relationship. Thank-you is a word that acknowledges the beauty in your partner, It blesses her who says it and him who graciously receives it.
#3 I Forgive You is a phrase you need to have in your love vocabulary. The power to forgive is by far the most attractive thing in a partner. Forgiveness releases all ill feelings harbored and frees two people both to move forward. Forgiveness denied is poisonous and over time the entire relationship will be cancerous. I forgive you is the only amputating agent that cuts away bad parts allowing the rest of the anatomy of your love to survive. I forgive you also takes into account that tomorrow it will be you who will requires it in return. Forgiveness is not a word you want to keep to yourself. It is useless unless it is articulated and meant.
#4 Yes is a word that ignites the greatest love stories of our time. Yes is the permission to be. Saying yes to your lover as frequently as is humanly possible will create an exquisite bond between you. Yes is the shortest route to experiencing the love of your life.
#5 I Understand is the confirmation to your lover that you have the precious ability to see things in the same manner that he does. When you share this common thread you have the rare ability to create any reality that pleases you both. To understand involves a selfless ability to step out of yourself and put yourself in your partners shoes. To be understood is something that we all crave and to find someone who fills this need is a big step toward cultivating a strong liking.
#6 To Ask How One Can Be Of Service to another in a relationship is vital. Aside from all the things you can guess or imagine it is very thoughtful to ask how you can serve your partner. This is the nature of affording moral and actual support. One of the reasons we seek out relationships is so that the whole can be better than the two halves and to serve each other is how to achieve this.
#7 I Give You My Word. In the language of love your word should be your bond. Your partner must be able to trust in you and to count on you. This is the only phrase that should not be used often or lightly as misuse of it will render it null and void.
#8 Please as a precursor to any request is a wonderful way to maintain respect. Respect breeds more respect and in this context respect breeds real love and admiration. Never assume. Don’t take for granted. Hearts are fragile things that must be handled with great care.
#9 I Miss You is an expression of longing that fills the spaces of your absence from each other. I miss you is like a cloak that can be worn to substitute a lovers presence and keep the heart warmed.
#10 I Love You of course is the ultimate declaration of the language of love. Do not rush to say this however until you are 100% fluent in all the other areas of this evocative dialect. I love you is the most sacred of expressions and loses it’s intention if it is misused or used lightly or too often. Use sparingly and be more generous in your use of words like sorry, yes and how may I serve you more. Over time you will learn that you are most fluent if you have been practicing your vocabulary daily. Once fluent in the language of love the world will become a brand new place. You will connect with new and beautiful people and experience a richer interaction than before you could speak well. Few things in the world are as magical as two people fluently communicating their ideas, thoughts, feelings and dreams in the same unique language.
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“Come. You Have A Home With Us!” Said the 7 Dwarfs.
The all too familiar scene! Poor little Snow White lost in a concrete jungle. Haters want your heart served on a silver plate. Debts men have sent the huntsman to collect at all costs. The word is out on the streets you’re a wanted woman but not by men. You feel sad and alone but don’t be in despair. Find the seven dwarfs and they’ll help keep you happy, busy ,entertained and on ice. Until prince charming melts you with a kiss. Here are 10 fabulous reasons Why Some Of Your Best Friends Should Be Men.
#1 Meet Grumpy! We all have a Grumpy in our lives. When it’s hot it’s too hot. When it’s cold it’s too darn cold. When the real estate market was booming houses were too expansive. Now its crashed he’s going to wait for it to keep crashing before he can commit. Whether it’s Bush or Obama in office the government sucks. No matter how hard you try to make him smile he’d rather peer at you suspiciously for being too nice and keep frowning. Don’t hate on Grumpy he is always there for a great pity party. Grumpy always has your sobbing knife stabbed back. Appreciate him as a good friend and an example of everything you don’t want in a man. His advise can be biting but always honest. Seriously this pessimistic nay sayer is a girls secret best friend.
#2 Meet Dopey! Every girl needs Dopey in her life. He is usually a surfer dude type who doesn’t take life too seriously. He’d rather hit the surf than hit on you. He is never short of 420 if you need it. He thinks all dudes are cool so that will keep your perceptive balanced and your personality cool and dope. Dopey might seem mellow but you will need more than a set of D cups to hang out with him. He will playfully point out things about yourself you could work on. Take notes. Resist the urge to make him your rebound guy and you’ll have a friend for life.
#3 Meet Happy! Happy is ironically very annoying. He is that guy friend who never seems to have bad day. It’s all about good energy and positive thinking. After the decade you’ve had you could certainly use some cheering up. He will never loan you any cash and if he reluctantly does you’ll never hear the end of it even after you pay him back. He will send you daily postings of your dream job and connect you to good people. No matter how mopey you are he will always make you laugh. Happy is a decent, hardworking guy but just not your type. He sticks around half hoping things will someday turn romantic. He asked you out once and you turned him down and it didn’t even phase him. If he asks you out again…tell him no with a smile. Remind him to have a positive attitude towards it. To even have a one night stand with Happy would ruin your friendship. Trust me he is a much better friend than a boyfriend.
#4 Meet Sneezy! Sneezy is loud and uncouth and you wish you’d run into that girl who stole your ex hanging out with him. Sneezy can be ultra feminine or gay and that’s what makes him one of the most coveted guy friends of the seven. He understands how you feel, he will spend the day shopping and even though he is more bitchy than you…who cares! Sneezy at best will help you with your hair, make-up and styling. Don’t worry if he dates hotter guys than you…just focus on healing your broken heart and learning to be sassy. A friendship with Sneezy will make you outspoken and confident.
#5 Meet Sleepy! He is not your trendiest buddy but so what. He never reads the paper or watches telly. His days seem to involve work and sleep only. All his spare time is spent with you. Sleepy is an accomplished homebody who will teach you to love been at home. He will teach you to cook and get you candles and bubble bath and insist you take hour long soaks. Sleepy doesn’t care what you look like dressed up he is more likely to admire an old pair of sweats. Just don’t spend time with him at his place alone. Better to call him he is always home and pleased to listen to you vent for hours giving great advise.
#6 Meet Doc! You admire what he does for work.He always gives you invaluable advise. His life is on the straight and narrow and it just reminds you that when you decide to focus all will be well. Doc overall thinks of himself as better than anyone else in your life don’t correct him. He is a better problem solver when he has no competition. Of course you’d never date some-one so self involved but as a friend that’s great! He is so into himself you never have to worry about him been into you. He loves to listen to the sound of his own voice so ask pointed questions then let him do all the talking. To prevent him from liking you remind him of all your faults and watch his perfectionist self retreat. Doc will be able to come up with a comprehensive game plan for your life for the next 5 years. If you take his advise you’ll be better off in the future.
#7 Meet Bashful! Bashful teaches you to like dudes again. He is super sweet and so gorgeous but usually taken. He’d never cheat on his girl and that just makes him hotter. He likes you as a person and is genuinely concerned about your affairs. He is not a gossip so you can trust him with all your dirty laundry. He lives vicariously through you so don’t spare him the details of your messy love life. He can think like a bad boy and has no qualms decoding the bro code for you. He reminds you of all that can be tender, kind and endearing about a man. Bashful is an accessory friend who looks good at any events you need a hot date. Your friends will all think you are insane not to date him but you know better. Be very good to him, this guy is priceless.
#8 Meet The Huntsman! The odds are slim but if you can convince the huntsman that you are a good person he will work for you not against you. Confront him head on. If it’s money owed be honest and make a realistic proposal for repayment. Do not avoid him because he is trained to hunt you down. If you go to him and are accessible he will seize to harass you and become a worthy ally. Put his knowledge to use because it’s his business to resolve the situation. Between all your great guy friends and the huntsman…you haven’t even had time to wonder about Charmings approximate time of arrival.
#9 Meet The Evil Witch! Any girls trying to come into your life after the fact with a bright red apple of friendship should be avoided at all costs. Where were they when you really needed them? No thanks. It is more constructive for you to do something sweet for the seven. Imagine where you would be without them.
#10 Meet Prince Charming! Well of course there is a happy ending! Snow White upon meeting the seven dwarfs and eluding the huntsman lives out her wonderful life for many a seasons in the city of angels. Snow is busy, productive and very content. It goes without saying that she catches the eye of a handsome prince. Of course the prince must earn the approval of all of the seven dwarfs because after all only they truly have Snows best interest at heart. With a single kiss Snow melts. She rides off into the rest of her life but she never forgets the seven dwarfs nor deletes their numbers from her phone book.
“Freeze!” she screamed. “You’re under arrest! Put your heart up where I can see it, and slowly step away from other women . . . .”
Monogamy is the practice or condition of having one sexual partner at a time. It is also defined as the practice of marrying only once in a lifetime. For those who subscribe to this kind of relationship, your subscription has just been suspended until you understand what monogamy is not. This is not the practice of backing your partner up into a tight emotional corner at gun point and demanding that their entire existence now entirely rotate around you. It is not the practice of now having a single-tracked mind . . . “Where is he?” “What is he doing?” and “With whom is he doing it?” It is not the condition where by you shall be allowed to have only one friend for the rest of your life. It is not the act of leading your partner slowly down an aisle under duress using guilt trips, anger, begging and coaxing to get him to renounce the entire female population and forever only look and be with you. The only thing that can come out of backing your man into a “right angle” is a wrong result. Love at gun point is a lot of stressful work and a waste of your time and life. To play jail guard to a grown-ass man is the worst job on the planet. So slowly lower your handheld weapon and move aside; let him out of the place between a rock and your hard, hot head that you have put him in. Only animals live in cages, and even that is something that some animal activists might dispute. This is a man. Now the question is, is he your man? If he is, he will love you without the wicked threat of getting his brains splattered on the wall. If he is not, then why are you are selling yourself short? You have your back to the love of your life, who will not even look your way during this emotional highway robbery. Whether he leaves or stays, you win, so here are 10 for-sure ways to back him out of that emotional corner.
#1 Lower Your Weapon! . . . and depending on how long you’ve had the poor guy’s back up against the wall, we will try to figure out if there is any way in hell he will ever trust you again or want to stay. The problem with treating someone like a criminal is that they begin to act like one. It’s like sentencing an innocent man to prison. God only knows, but he probably learned a trick or two to avoid upsetting your crazy ass, and he is probably an escape artist when it comes to taking the much-needed time to himself. Lowering your weapon, however, is only the first step. It is a sexy sign of surrender that shows that you are now ready to find true love.
#2 Stand Aside & Set Him Free. You will have to eat some humble pie during this process and let him know the truth. You have been so wrong to have a gun to his head, and you are no longer interested in being his jail guard. You obviously have trust issues, but justified or not, no person has the right to consume the life of another. Our unalienable rights are individual and uncompromisable. In my country and Shona culture, we have a saying that once a goat has been tied to a tree for a long time, when the rope has been cut off the goat will still keep going around the tree for a while before it realizes it is free. You must realize that this is not a healthy relationship, so there will be emotional trauma on both sides. Talk it out to give your relationship a real chance of coming out of this dusty corner.
#3 Unload the Gun & Put It Away! Do not leave the gun lying around loaded. Remember, you are hard wired to use it and you still are at risk of shooting to kill. So unload the gun and put it in a safe place. This refers to unloading your mind and heart of all suspicious and negative thoughts and creating new thought patterns. Instead of “What is he doing?” ask “What am I doing?”; Instead of ” Where is he going?” ask “Where am I going?”; Instead of “Who is he with?” ask “Who am I?”
#4 Find Circles In Your Corners. Corners are finite and circles are infinite. Corners are restrictive and circles exploratory. Corners are for individuals and circles can encompass a couple. Corners are conclusive but circles are open yet safely closed. Corners are temporary but circles are for an eternity. Which do you choose?
#5 Find A Brand New Occupation! So now that you are no longer in the business of stealing hearts by force, whatever shall you do with your pretty self? Go back to the chalkboard. Before you met him, what made you happy? What did you love to do? How did you spend your time? Find what makes you tick. Find what makes you feel warm inside. Even better, find something you love equally or even more than you love him . . . that isn’t another man, of course.
#6 Mutual Attraction is as obvious as the time on a clock. So are you both half past anger and a quarter to love? Or half past love and a quarter to moving on? Either way, deal with it. If you can bear child labor to have a beautiful child, you can push through this to find the relationship of your dreams. Is he still into you? Is he making an effort? Is he forgiving and loving and supportive and proud of you for the new direction in your life? Only you know the answers to these questions.
#7 Mutual Distractions are really healthy in a monogamous relationship if you should both decide to stay together. Someone once said, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.” Instead of panicking and feeling like your lover will slip away, think of those spaces as vital pockets of oxygen. Monogamous relationships are a deep sea dive into the unknown, and trust you are going to need all the oxygen you can get to keep breathing and stay alive.
#8 The Role of Dream Catcher is much more desirable for you. What are your dreams as a couple and how are you going to achieve them? Women have the innate gift of resourcefulness and creativity which is God-given. You would be surprised what a single mom can whip up in the kitchen for her kids on limited supplies or a young woman in the bedroom on all sort of supplies for her lover. Take that talent and apply it to creating a value system in your relationship where your partner values your ideas and input. Get to the point where you regard your guy as your emotional partner, not your prisoner. Prisoners escape, but partners stay together.
#9 Freeze! You Are Under Arrest! is now only something you will say if you work for the Police Department. Otherwise, if you want to be loved and to love, be patient. Forcing things with the catalyst of desperation will only lead into a hellhole of a relationship. It is easier to do things right the first time than to correct a bad situation. So don’t be in a rush to get to the end of your new monogamous relationship.
#10 While You Were Out catching up with old friends, he missed you! When you were out running, you got your figure and your honey back. When you were too busy trusting him to sweat him on the small stuff, you rediscovered your passion and he rediscovered the woman that he fell in love with. Now ain’t love a silly thing!
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“We LIKE!!!!” They Screamed
WHY LIKE RUSSELL? http://www.facebook.com/russellwmusic
#1 SPOILTGIRLSCLUB HEART RUSSELL! & OF COURSE WE ARE THE AUTHORITY ON WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT!
#2 HE ROCKS!!!
#3 HE IS DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!!
#4 HE IS 100% ABOUT HIS MUSIC!!!
#5 HE IS PERSONALLY ONE OF THE MOST AUTHENTIC GENUINE PEOPLE I KNOW IN LALA & TRULY DESERVING OF OUR SUPPORT!!!
#6 DID I MENTION HE ROCKS!!! Listen! http://www.facebook.com/russellwmusic
#7 WHY NOT VALIDATE THE GOOD GUY FOR ONCE???
#8 BECAUSE FAN POWER IS AWESOME & IT WOULD BE A PHENOMENA TO UP HIS STATS OVERNIGHT BECAUSE WE WANT TO!!!
#9 HE IS A REALLY GOOD FRIEND & Y’ALL LIKE ME RIGHT? RIGHT? HELLO?. : )
#10 IT’S ABOUT TIME!!!!!
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“I Think My Tank Is On E!” She Cried!
Everyone knows when it’s time to pull into the gas station. There is no ignoring the very distinct sensation of having your tank on empty. However having your emotional tank on empty has far more devastating repercussions. The scary thing is it’s easy to go for years without putting any fuel into our emotional tanks. So don’t be surprised when you find yourself stranded at the side of your emotional highway, alone in the dark, without a signal and all the signs screaming lost. A fear of the unknown haunts the human psyche in a lingering way that science cannot defy. Yet there is immense power in the cognition that infinite possibilities must be born from nothing. There is true artistry in finding the balance between shadows and light. So when your soul aches for something and your heart searches through only the debris of your past life…only then are you pulling into the gas station to get your self on full. Here are 10 Ways To Hit Rock Bottom! The Only Way Up!
#1 Cry Wolf! Until no-one comes to your rescue! Who can be a better hero to save yourself than you? How is it that we find it easier to trust in the external than that which is deep down inside and stays with us until the day we die? We have scrambled the value system in our world beyond repair. In a world that can send a man to the moon…how is it possible that we judge the essence of a man by dollars and cents? That we turn a deaf ear to the whaling of the human spirit trapped in a self created hell? Rock bottom Rocks! It’s solid. It’s quantifiable. So we of little faith! Yet what we can see we can define and what we can touch we can begin to change.
#2 Cry Me A River! Why do we live in a world where we despise tears? The liquid purification of the beauty of total surrender to that which makes us most human…our pain. Show me a broken man and I will show you a vessel through which God can begin to work. Show me a woman in a posture of prayer and I will show you a nation in a posture of victory. Not all that trembles is weak…and certainly “not all who wonder are lost.”
#3 Give Credence To The Fight Of The Human Spirit. Like a boxer in his last round sometimes there comes an almost supernatural surge of energy and a determination born of the desire to survive.
#4 The Transformation Of The Twelfth Hour is the phenomena where by even the darkest night must turn to light.
#5 The Cinderella Complex requires that as humans we pay our dues whatever those may be. For a Doctor, it’s endless hours of sleepless nights studying and then eventually tirelessly saving lives in OR. For a guitarist, it’s endless summer days melted away strumming codes that bring discord until, through finger bleeding callous, fine music is made. For a basketball player, it’s getting the ball in the hoop over and over and over again until it’s second nature. For a writer, it’s restless nights trying to find words to let out all the frustration and pain of feeling things too deeply. Yet at the end of the day the inner fairy god mother appears and we are granted that which we have labored unwaveringly for.
#6 Baptism By Fire is the only way to separate true diamonds from rocks. The very process of “going through it” is as old as time itself. The only course through which nature using great heat and pressure makes something rare, priceless and beautiful to behold.
#7 Fancy Meeting You In A Place Like This is as simple as don’t!. Making changes. Make drastic changes. Change your internal perceptions and check off old and failing belief system, to see things and the world in a fresher light.
#8 Reprogramming Our Internal Navigation System. If you couldn’t avert disaster through logic then thank God for Rock Bottom! Like driving a car into a lake…ah yeah! It’s time to change course. Since you are at the bottom the only place that you can set your sights is up!
#9 Having Nothing To Lose is at best one of the most liberating feelings on the planet. I was 21 when I set my course half way across the world for a new one. I had zero in terms of money but I was a billionaire in hopes and dreams and aspirations. I mismanaged some of these things in taking it for granted that others had a rich inner word too. Hello, Rock bottom!…but I also know that all I have to do is tape into the same bank account again. The one that I can dream of anything and believe it in my heart and it will come to pass. We live in a world with a lot of seemingly very rich people with poor spirits. Run! Nothing in the world will deplete you faster than some-one telling you to “just give it up!”, “not every-one makes it!”, “It’s hard! So get a job flipping burgers!” or the good old fashioned “Be realistic!” Whose reality? Don’t live in the claustrophobic place of another mans failed dreams!
#10 Letting Go of whatever false sense of security you are clinging to and letting yourself crash to the bottom is the fastest way to begin on your authentic path up. We are all guilty of taking wrong detours in life and of pursing that which grieves and does not drive us. This is perfectly normal. What is crazy is holding on to tar baby when you find yourself helplessly entangled. It’s not a hug, it’s a life strangling hold. Let go. Funny thing is you just might finally realize that you do have gorgeous wings to Fly!
“You may be whatever dress size you feel sexy in, and can rock as long as you have a size 0 personality,” he insisted.
In this world of anorexic dreams that are starved of hope due to the prevailing economic hardships worldwide, everyone is a glutton of worry. The emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical baggage that most of us are lugging around is not designer, but is certainly in by design. How heavy you are is the first thing that others notice about you, especially when embarking into a new relationship. The weight of our souls need not be weighed by a fancy bathroom scale but by a more fine tuned and sophisticated instrument that is inherent to us all . . . our intuition. We all know people who have a “heavy” energy. They rarely smile, they take a lot of coaxing to be happy, never laugh out loud and after we spend time with them, no matter how much we love them, we feel exhausted and drained. These are the obsessive consumers of all things unhealthy, like fear based news, conspiracy theorists and naysayers with a very bleak expectation of the future. Everybody wants to date someone skinny with a ready smile, a light and bubbly energy, lots of funny jokes and good stories and always looking at the things on the bright side. This is the most important diet which you will ever go on in your life. Here are 10 fast steps that will make you an instant size 0 personality!
#1 Join The Gym! After years of feeding your mind with greasy thoughts and your ears with uncensored junk food, it is time to clean up your act! This will require more than siting at home and reading this article. You will have to get up off your behind and find a place that is equipped to get you back into tip-top shape. For some, this might be a church or a temple, for others it might be a Tony Robbins Seminar, and for still others it might be a cool AA meeting; no matter which place you pick, we all have that one place we gravitate toward when it is time to make things right. Go! This is an environment that has been set up to give you access to all the equipment that you need to turn that over weight-depressed personality into a stunning size 0!
#2 Begin A Balanced Diet! We are what we eat, so no matter how hard you work out, you will only start to get real and lasting results when you change your diet. Reprogram your cable settings to TV shows that are uplifting and inspiring to you, and watch news shows that keep you updated with world politics without digging you into a dejected pit. Get some tapes of your favorite music to play in your car, or even go ahead and buy those cheesy positive reaffirmation tapes. Go see a play, go listen to the latest jazz band, just fill all your free spaces with fun! The hardest thing is going to be flushing your system of old negative acquaintances and low-energy friends. If you can, simply change your phone number. If not, just don’t feed into their negativity. Quickly change the subject, and for everything negative they say, find five positive things and watch them turn and go. It is true that misery loves company, and you are no longer the hostess of the world best pity party!
#3 An Apple A Day Although it might seem silly at first, make it a must to put something healthy into your system daily. Get your phone to text you a motivational line a day, or put out visualization boards that you made over a bottle of champs with all the cool places in the world you’d like to see. Whatever it is, access it daily to take place of all the not-so-pleasant toxic worry you’ve been carrying around with you since this recession started!
#4 No Carbs! No matter how bored you are, do not go back to your old friends and ways! Instead, make it a point to have a long list of things you want to do. The thought of wasting anymore of your God-given time is insane to you! Don’t even cheat in the middle of the night by responding to the late night booty call, as it will have you plummeting back to the valley of depression and regret. It sucks starting any diet over!
#5 Emotional Cardio is the sweaty, tedious and very difficult act of looking long and hard at yourself and what you need to work on and improve. Yes, the economy is going to shit. Yes, our troops need to come back home. But stop finding faults within the world and find what’s wrong with you. Make a list and immediately go to work on improving those things! Were you broke anyway before this recession because you dropped out of school? Go back to community college and take a class. Do you have an anger problem that will hinder you from been employee of the month when you finally get the job flipping burgers? Take an anger management class! The world moves at such a fast pace that when you are blessed with an opportunity when things slow down . . . well, that’s your chance to get back on the horse and get ready to hit the ground running.
#6 No Diet Pills! There are no quick-fix diets that really work and are truly good for your health. So buckle down, pace yourself and stay committed and focused. You won’t achieve everything in a day, but the moment you begin you are already a size 0!
#7 Boot Camp is always an option if you want to see quick results. Do all of the above and immediately begin surrounding yourself with good people who are motivated and uplifting. Share your dietary goals with them and watch them, and the universe whip you back into the best shape of your life.
#8 A Personal Trainer Approach someone you trust and respect and solicit their support. You will have an emotional accountability partner who will remind you that whom you aspire to become is a sight better than the bitch or asshole you have become. Being around them and looking at their stunning size 0 personality will also remind you why you are even going through all this hard work and keeping to your diet diligently!
#9 Lifting Weights basically involves lifting your own weight in the community around you and doing your fair share of charity work. Nothing like giving back at a local orphanage for the afternoon to lose those selfish emotional calories and drop a lot of weight in just one day. Glance at yourself in the mirror . . . now who knew!
#10 The Skinny Girls Club is very exclusive, and not just any heavy broad can join it. But once you’ve put in your work and gotten your membership card, watch your life change overnight! This club is home to some of the world’s most amazing, accomplished, kind, compassionate and beautiful people that you will ever meet. They will take you under their wings because you have a size 0 personality and this opens doors which you never even dreamed existed for you. When the new you is ushered in the angels will rejoice. Money, outer beauty and power cannot get you into this club no matter how hard you try. Only your stunningly perfect size 0 personality will be the key that turns the lock. Smile, hold your head up high and raise your Skinny Bitch (created by Bethany from the Real-housewives of New York.. and this is a salute to a brilliant woman and not a tacky product placement, come on guys you know me better than that!) martini glass because baby, it’s super skinny at the very top!
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